Recently, I was asked the question, “How do you stay motivated to keep going?”

As I started to answer, I realized it was a complicated question because sometimes I don’t feel motivated at all, yet I keep going anyway.

For example, this morning I didn’t want to get out of bed to do my morning yoga and journaling. It felt cozy under the covers and the thought of rolling over and going back to sleep was really appealing.

But I got up anyway to move my body and do my writing.

Why is that?

I think it comes down to motivation vs. discipline.

Anxiety, and the accompanying fear, overwhelm and stress it causes, is something I know very well , and I used to limit myself and what I was capable of by labeling myself as an anxious person.

My difficulties with anxiety started when I was very young. As a child I recall that I was very shy and a little awkward, and for as long as I can remember I avoided any social situations that I could. This led to a fear of making new friends and the belief that I didn’t belong.

As I’ve learned over the past few years, there’s a strong mind/body connection, and much of what we feel in our bodies is related to our thoughts and emotions.

Next time you feel stuck in “I don’t know how”, or any other thought that stops you from moving forward, there’s a simple mindset tool you can try.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a big decision you’re trying to make or something you want to do that seems quite small; too much negative brain chatter can overwhelm us and keep us stuck.

First, it’s important to note that often what you think is the problem, isn’t really the problem at all. Your brain may be telling you that it’s too hard or you don’t know how, but that’s not really why you’re stuck.

You’re stuck because of your thinking.

The other day as I sat down at my desk to do some journaling, I noticed that I was feeling a little agitated.

I spent a minute or two quietly trying to connect with the feeling and get curious as to why it was there. Then, as I looked around the space I was in, it occurred to me that my desk was really disorganized, and that’s just what I could see. I knew that the chaos inside the desk drawers was even worse.

Papers, pens, journals, stickers, and old bills and notes, were all stacked in piles alongside my phone, an iPad, and other unnecessary small bits of stuff.

It was a cluttered mess and, as a result, my mind felt like a cluttered mess as well.

The holidays are supposed to be a time of peace, love and joy, yet for many of us, they only add to our stress.

Overwhelm may be created by your endless to-do lists and holiday shopping, gatherings with family and friends, office parties, and other social events. This is especially true if (like me) you are an introvert and big social gatherings cause feelings of anxiety.

Feelings of overwhelm, stress, and anxiety can also be created by not having family or friends around and feeling lonely or isolated. As we get older, grief and loss are likely part of the picture as well.

Most mornings I spend time writing in my journal, and I usually end the practice by setting an intention for the day ahead (i.e., My intention for today is _____________ so I will ____________).

I’m not alone; many people I know also like to set a daily intention, yet intention without following up with action doesn’t get you very far.

It’s hard, though, to get into action without the corresponding belief that it’s possible, and, when there’s no action plan that you can believe in, it often leads to frustration, overwhelm, and feeling stuck.

Do you find yourself saying things like, “I can never do this right”, or “Everyone thinks….”, or “They always……”? Or, maybe you stop yourself from doing something because you can’t be completely sure it will be absolutely perfect, leading to the all-encompassing shut-down thought, “I’m not good enough”.

Those thoughts come from “all or nothing” or “black and white” thinking. It’s distorted thinking that causes anxiety.

This kind of thinking rarely matches up to what’s really happening because life is full of shades of gray. That’s good news because when we think in shades of gray, it allows for more flexibility and room to grow.

When you wake up in the morning, do you feel excited about the day ahead? Are you curious about what will happen?

Or, do you lie in bed, lacking energy, and thinking about the same old routine?

If you aren’t feeling at least some anticipation for the day ahead, then you are likely stuck in a rut; a well-worn rut that’s so familiar to you and has no surprises left.

Familiar routines are comforting and good daily habits that support you are important. But if you’re feeling bored and thinking thoughts like “same old, same old”, then it’s time to look at the deep patterns in your rut and create a plan to break out of the stuck energy keeping you there.

What is self care? Self care includes all the things you need to do for yourself to stay well; physically, mentally and emotionally. Research shows that when we take care of ourselves, we are more resilient to life challenges and stressful situations.

When you’re feeling more overwhelmed and stressed than calm and peaceful, it’s time to take better care of yourself.

Self care isn’t selfish or indulgent; it’s absolutely essential for good mental health.

We all have tough days from time to time, but what happens when those days become weeks, or maybe even longer? What can you do to cope?

While it really is true that, “this too shall pass”, that quote doesn’t feel true when you’re in the middle of a crisis.

It can feel like it’ll never, ever end.

When experiencing times like these, in addition to seeking support from others (such as friends, family, coaches, therapists, colleagues, etc.), self-care practices are key in ensuring your mental health and wellbeing.

To stay mentally healthy, it’s important to believe that you have some control in any circumstance. Always remember that you have control over how you take care of yourself.