Do you want to move forward but don’t know how? Get unstuck now with this simple mindset tool
“You are not stuck where you are, unless you decide to be.”
Wayne Dyer
Next time you feel stuck in “I don’t know how”, or any other thought that stops you from moving forward, there’s a simple mindset tool you can try.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a big decision you’re trying to make or something you want to do that seems quite small; too much negative brain chatter can overwhelm us and keep us stuck.
First, it’s important to note that often what you think is the problem, isn’t really the problem at all. Your brain may be telling you that it’s too hard or you don’t know how, but that’s not really why you’re stuck.
You’re stuck because of your thinking.
Today I invite you to notice whenever you have thoughts that are holding you back from doing something you really want to do. These thoughts simply aren’t serving you and are keeping you stuck. They are actually thought errors. Examples include:
“I’m not smart”
“I’ll fail”
“I’ll make a mistake”
“I can’t”
“I’m too busy”
“I’m too old”
“I don’t know how”
“I’ll never be good at this”
“No one will like it”
Do you have any more to add?
These thoughts don’t feel good and won’t motivate you to move forward, yet we have them on repeat going on in our minds.
As a retired psychotherapist, in my coaching practice, in addition to the many coaching tools available, I’m able to use a lot of different tools and strategies inspired by many different therapeutic approaches to help clients gain clarity, challenge unhelpful and limiting beliefs, and rewrite the stories they keep telling themselves.
Here’s a mindset tool I like to use that was inspired by two therapeutic approaches; Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT). It starts with paying attention and noticing the things you keep telling yourself. For example, saying to yourself, “I notice I’m having the thought that______________” helps create distance from the unhelpful thought. You become an observer of your thoughts.
You can create even more space and room for observation by noticing that it’s part of you that is creating the unhelpful or painful thought. Your true self would never speak to you that way, therefore it has to be some other part.
The next time you have one of these uninspiring and unhelpful thoughts, try reframing the thought with “Part of me thinks (I’m not smart, I can’t, _____________).
Create even more spaciousness by adding “I notice” in front of the thought: “I notice I’m having the thought that part of me _____________”.
How does that new thought feel in your body? When we attribute the thought to a part of us instead of our entire being, then it allows our true self to step in and offer evidence for something different and a new perspective.
This practice takes very little time and allows space for curiosity and exploration. It will help you get unstuck so you can find a clear path forward.
I encourage you to start noticing and reframing your thoughts. Make the decision that you no longer want to be stuck. Discover how you can retrain your brain, change your thinking, and start living the life you truly want.
“Nothing happens until you decide.”
Oprah Winfrey
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I’d love to hear from you so please send any comments or questions to me at sharon@sharonashtoncoaching.com. Feel free to share this email with anyone else who may be interested.
Please check out The Journey Within podcast at:
What is stopping you from living your best life? Get out your journal and a pen and take the new quiz on my website to find out:
Are you interested in learning more about life change & mindset coaching from a mind/body perspective? Please email me at sharon@sharonashtonmindfulyoga.com for more information or to schedule a free introductory consultation to see if coaching is right for you. You can also visit my website coaching page.
"I felt at complete ease with Sharon from our first conversation. She has a wonderful, gentle but firm way that made me focus on my thoughts / feelings so I could remove / change to move forward with a completely different feeling to what felt like obstacles. It was great having regular coaching that gently kept me accountable to actioning and moving towards my goals. Sharon has vast experience in so many areas, I felt that makes her an amazing coach.”
— Michelle Carney, East Galway, Ireland
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