Are you tired of feeling stuck in your life?
5 strategies to help you get unstuck and moving forward no matter what
“There comes a day when you realize turning the page is the best feeling in the world, because you realize there's so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on.”
Zayn Malik
When you wake up in the morning, do you feel excited about the day ahead? Are you curious about what will happen?
Or, do you lie in bed, lacking energy, and thinking about the same old routine?
If you aren’t feeling at least some anticipation for the day ahead, then you are likely stuck in a rut; a well-worn rut that’s so familiar to you and has no surprises left.
Familiar routines are comforting and good daily habits that support you are important. But if you’re feeling bored and thinking thoughts like “same old, same old”, then it’s time to look at the deep patterns in your rut and create a plan to break out of the stuck energy keeping you there.
Here are 5 reasons why you may be feeling stuck in a rut, and what to do to get out:
Overthinking leads to cognitive overload and overwhelm, and when we’re overwhelmed, we get stuck.
Over our lifetimes we can create patterns of thinking that don’t serve us. For example, if you were judged harshly for making mistakes or always had to figure out things on your own when you were young, you may have internalized feelings of not being good enough. Those feelings may lead to doubting yourself, too many conflicting thoughts, and overwhelm when faced with making decisions.
Get unstuck strategy: Notice the stories you’ve been telling yourself about the past. Perhaps it’s time to let go of past stories. Try saying to yourself, “This is my story about _______.” Ask yourself if it’s really true. How can you re-write your stories to be more supportive?
Familiar patterns are easier and take much less effort than creating new habits and patterns, which results in self-sabotage so you don’t need to do as much work.
It’s easier to continue doing the same thing we’ve always done and your brain is much calmer when you stay in your comfort zone. It often doesn’t feel safe to try new things so you’ll self-sabotage yourself to stay where you are.
Get unstuck strategy: Start with small changes to create new habits and patterns. For example, if you decide you’re going to get up 15 minutes earlier in the morning to write in your journal, notice if you self-sabotage yourself by staying in bed and saying “I’ll get up in a few minutes”. Set yourself up for success by having your journal handy, perhaps right beside your bed and starting by simply listing 3 things you’re grateful for.
Often the reason we get in a rut is because of negative thinking. What would happen if you changed your perspective and decided that you were going to get unstuck and move forward no matter what
Get unstuck strategy: Whenever you find yourself thinking negative thoughts, try improving them just a little bit. For example, instead of saying “I can’t” or “It’s too hard”, try adding the word “yet” to the end. “I can’t” becomes “I can’t yet”. Adding the word “yet” opens up more possibilities for change. Challenge your negative thoughts and limiting beliefs. Which ones can you let go of? Pick one small thing you’d like to change and take one tiny step in that direction.
Fear is a big reason we stay stuck. Fear of the judgment of others and fear of failure are the two big ones. These include perfectionistic tendencies and overthinking.
Get unstuck strategy: It’s important to understand that fears are normal and we all have them. Reassure yourself that nothing has gone wrong. As humans, our survival depends on connection with others, so of course we’re concerned about what others think, and it’s also important to remember that there will always be someone who disapproves or disagrees with you. We all need to be okay with that and allow the fear to be there. The same principle applies to any other fear. When you normalize it, failure can become a learning opportunity. In fact, failure is necessary in order to grow. Take a few breaths, allow yourself to feel what you feel, and let your fear come along for the ride.
Lack of direction or sense of purpose will keep you stuck. If you don’t know your “why”, it’s difficult to move forward. To make big changes, you need to be very clear on why you want them or you’ll continue to come up with excuses.
Get unstuck strategy: Keep digging and asking “why” until you get to the real reason you want to make changes. When you really dig deep, you’ll discover that it’s a feeling that you’re after, not a thing. Write down your “why” and keep it close to you. Times when you’re feeling stuck may be opportunities for you to really look within to find out what it is you truly want to be doing.
Journal prompts for self-awareness
Before you start writing, spend a few moments allowing yourself to become present. Begin to notice your thoughts and where you might be getting stuck.
What familiar patterns do you feel stuck in?
Where do you keep saying to yourself, “That’s just who I am. I can’t change” or “I’m too old to change”.
How does staying stuck in your current patterns serve you?
What excuses are you holding onto?
Imagine your life 6 months from now. What are you doing? How do you feel?
Here’s an important truth: Other people, your circumstances, or even bad luck aren’t keeping you stuck. You are. It’s time to change your thoughts and stories.
Always remember that you create your reality. If you feel stuck or trapped in a life you don’t want, you can choose to change that story and gain new perspectives. When you decide to take control of your life, you’ll see that there are many more choices ahead.
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I’d love to hear from you so please send any comments or questions to me at sharon@sharonashtoncoaching.com. Feel free to share this email with anyone else who may be interested.
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What is stopping you from living your best life? Get out your journal and a pen and take the new quiz on my website to find out:
Are you interested in learning more about life change & mindset coaching from a mind/body perspective? Please email me at sharon@sharonashtonmindfulyoga.com for more information or to schedule a free introductory consultation to see if coaching is right for you. You can also visit my website coaching page.
"I felt at complete ease with Sharon from our first conversation. She has a wonderful, gentle but firm way that made me focus on my thoughts / feelings so I could remove / change to move forward with a completely different feeling to what felt like obstacles. It was great having regular coaching that gently kept me accountable to actioning and moving towards my goals. Sharon has vast experience in so many areas, I felt that makes her an amazing coach.”
— Michelle Carney, East Galway, Ireland
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