How to Trust Yourself More
Try these 6 steps to building self-belief and self-confidence
“If you need somebody you can trust, trust yourself”
Bob Dylan
“You are what you believe yourself to be”
Paulo Coelho
One of the main reasons we stay stuck in jobs that don’t align with our values and goals, stay in relationships that aren’t supportive, and don’t follow our intuitions and dreams is because over the years we’ve learned not to trust ourselves.
We listen to and value others’ opinions over our own. We’ve been socialized to care more about what others think instead of what we think.
If you want to create a life where you feel truly alive and aligned with your purpose, then you must start to trust yourself.
Signs that you don’t trust yourself include:
You prioritize the needs of others over yourself (you put yourself last)
You have trouble treating yourself with compassion
You always listen to that critical voice in your head
Your true self knows exactly what you want to do with your life and all you need to do is listen.
“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live”.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The good news is that you’re never too old and it’s never too late to learn something new and change your life.
Let’s start by building some self-trust, self-belief, and the confidence to move forward.
6 Steps to Start Building Self-Trust and Self-Belief
Identify your current beliefs. What you currently think, believe and feel about yourself, your abilities, your circumstances, and others has a direct impact on what you do or don’t do. Over the years, we create many limiting beliefs that stop us in our tracks.
A limiting belief is a thought that you think is the absolute truth and it limits you, or stops you from moving forward. It can be about you or the world around you. It is often false but your brain continues to believe it because you’ve been thinking it for so long.
Ask yourself why you’re not moving forward, and your limiting beliefs will be revealed. Now it’s time to question them (Is it absolutely true?), look for evidence that they may not be true, and begin the process of creating more supportive beliefs.
Notice your self-talk. How you speak to yourself, the words you use, really matter. “I’m not smart”, “I’m too tired”, “I don’t know how”, “I’m not good at that”, and “I can’t” are all examples of words I hear friends say often. When you say them over and over, they become your truth. Even if they feel very true, make a pact with yourself to stop saying them.
Create good daily mental health habits (Self-care = Mental Health) When you start caring for yourself every single day with good daily habits, you are telling yourself that you’re worth it. When your self-worth improves, your confidence improves, and when you feel good about yourself, guess what? You create more evidence that your limiting beliefs aren’t true and you begin to trust yourself more.
Your mental health and physical health are closely related, so good daily habits include many things like sleep, hygiene, healthy foods, exercise, and positive social activities. Learning new things, reading, and hobbies are also key.
Focus on what you truly want. This is a big one and sometimes it takes awhile to figure it out. You may think you don’t know the answer, but deep down you do. Ask yourself, “What do I really want?” every day. Journal about it, contemplate it on a walk, meditate on it, and carry it with you during your yoga practice. Be authentic. Be you. Stop pretending to be someone you’re not.
Surround yourself with supportive people. Who do you spend the most time with? Are they positive and supportive, or are they judgemental, gossipy and negative? It’s easier to let go of limiting beliefs and start trusting yourself when you surround yourself with others on a similar journey. Where can you find your kindred spirits? What other support do you need?
Start taking tiny steps forward. You won’t know if something is going to work or not unless you trust yourself to try. You’ll likely make mistakes, but that’s okay because mistakes are learning opportunities that help us grow. You’ll likely be afraid, but that’s okay too because you can take the fear along with you. What’s one teeny, tiny step you can take today?
Trusting yourself begins with having compassion for yourself. Here’s a short mindful practice you can try today to get started.
10 Minute Morning Self-Compassion Mindful Writing Practice
Before you start, get out your pen and journal and have them ready.
Take a few moments to stretch your body in any way that feels good and then sit quietly and notice how you’re feeling. You may want to do a brief body scan.
Place your hands over your heart, take a few deep breaths (writing begins with the breath), and slow your mind down. Notice your thoughts come and go with curiosity and non-judgemental awareness.
When you’re ready, pick up your pen, feel the connection between your mind, your breath, and the pen, and answer the following prompts:
How do I feel right now? (Notice physical and emotional sensations in your body).
What do I need at this moment?
What are 3 things I’m grateful for about myself?
How will I support myself today emotionally and physically?
As you move through your day, remind yourself frequently to stay present and listen to your true self’s voice. Continue to build positive relationships and set healthy boundaries (limits) with others.
Trust yourself. Believe in yourself.
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I’d love to hear from you so please send any comments or questions to me at sharon@sharonashtoncoaching.com. Feel free to share this email with anyone else who may be interested.
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What is stopping you from living your best life? Get out your journal and a pen and take the new quiz on my website to find out:
Are you interested in learning more about life change & mindset coaching from a mind/body perspective? Please email me at sharon@sharonashtonmindfulyoga.com for more information or to schedule a free introductory consultation to see if coaching is right for you. You can also visit my website coaching page.
"I felt at complete ease with Sharon from our first conversation. She has a wonderful, gentle but firm way that made me focus on my thoughts / feelings so I could remove / change to move forward with a completely different feeling to what felt like obstacles. It was great having regular coaching that gently kept me accountable to actioning and moving towards my goals. Sharon has vast experience in so many areas, I felt that makes her an amazing coach.”
— Michelle Carney, East Galway, Ireland
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