Who do you want to be and what do you want to do?
You’re never too old and it’s never too late to decide
“Gentle Reminder: Decide on who you will
be. Decide on the kind of life that you desire.
Make that decision. Then start showing up
as that person. Little habits. Little steps.
Little shifts. It all adds up. You build the life
you want most. And it starts with deciding
what that life will look and feel like.”
Jamie Varon
If you ask Google how many decisions we make in a day, several articles will pop up and these articles consistently estimate that we make approximately 35,000 decisions every single day. Some of these decisions are so small we don’t even notice them and some of them we do by habit. For example, I suspect my day started in a similar way to yours; with the decision to get out of bed. By 9 a.m., you’ve likely made dozens more. Similar to our thoughts, we tend to make the same decisions day after day.
Then there are the more significant decisions we need to make. Decisions like where to live, where to work, where to go on vacation, etc. Those decisions make our brain work a little harder but somehow we get through them.
The decision that seems to trip many of us up is: What do I want to do with the rest of my life? Who do I want to be? What do I really want? These decisions are often shoved to the back of our minds because they’re just too big to contemplate. For some reason they’re deemed as too self-centered and/or unimportant. I would argue, though, that they’re the most important.
Here’s what I’ve learned after lots of self-reflection, reading/researching, and coaching:
Just decide. And then get started on creating the life you truly want. You can change your mind if you want once you get going, but it’s important to make a decision, just so you’ll get going! You’re never too old, it’s never too late and you don’t need anything more in this moment to make the decision. Just decide and get going.
One thing I hear over and over (and over!) in not only my coaching practice but in everyday conversations with friends, family, colleagues and neighbours is some version of “I feel so old”, “I’m too old”, “If only I were younger”, “It’s too late” and the list goes on. I’d like to share this quote I found one day as I was scrolling through Facebook:
“It’s never too late to reinvent yourself.
Start a new career at 40.
Fall in love at 50.
Learn to dance at 60.
Start a whole new life at 70.
Stop saying you can’t.
You can and you should.
Dreams don’t have an expiration.”
The Ravenwolf (Facebook)
Figuring out what we really want in life starts requires us to allow time for self-reflection. Here are some tips to help you get started on your journey.
It all begins with your body. Begin to notice how your body feels when you do various activities. Are you calm and relaxed or stressed and anxious? Do you feel light and happy or heavy and sad? Take time for interoceptive awareness throughout your day and truly notice.
As you’re beginning to notice how your body feels, begin to notice your thoughts as they come and go as well. Your thoughts create your feelings, so when you notice your body feeling a certain way, see if you can isolate the thought(s) causing the feeling.
As you’re thinking your thoughts and feeling your feelings, notice where you are. What’s going on around you? Where are you? Who’s with you? Once you’ve spent time sitting and noticing, asking yourself lots of questions will help clarify your thoughts and feelings.
Write it down! Get out your journal and pen and start writing to make sense of all you’re experiencing.
Self-reflection Journal Prompts
What is important to you? What are your values (integrity, loyalty, family, belonging, etc.)?
What/who motivates and inspires you? Why? Explore.
List all the things you are grateful for. Try to fill an entire page.
What are your favourite hobbies as an adult? What were your favourite hobbies as a child? Are any of them the same?
Think of a place where you feel peaceful and calm. Write a description of that place using all 5 senses.
At the end of your life, what do you want to be known for? How do you want to feel about yourself?
Do your goals truly reflect your essential self, or are they are reflection of what you think others want you to do?
Describe your future self (2-5 years from now). What does she look like? What is she doing? Who is she with? Where is she living?
List 3 obstacles you think get in the way of you moving forward with your dreams/goals? What small steps can you take to start removing these obstacles?
What teeny, tiny, turtle step(s) can you take right now that will move you towards your goals/dreams? (Hint: My mentor, Martha Beck, defines “turtle steps” as steps so small and so easy to do that you can start right away. For example, if you wanted to write a book, a turtle step would be to find something to write on. The next step might be to set aside some time in your calendar to write, etc.).
These journal prompts aren’t meant to be done all at one time. You may find that you want to spend several days on one question. They’re meant to help you organize your thoughts and give you ideas. If you’re having difficulty sorting out your thoughts and want support on your journey, finding someone to share your thoughts and feelings with (like a coach, counselor, or therapist) will help you gain even more insight.
Please don’t wait to start living your life the way you truly want. No matter what your age, income, or physical ability is, the next great adventure is just around the corner!
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I’d love to hear from you so please send any comments or questions to me at sharon@sharonashtonmindfulyoga.com. Feel free to share this email with anyone else who may be interested.
Please check out The Journey Within podcast at:
What is stopping you from living your best life? Get out your journal and a pen and take the new quiz on my website to find out:
Are you interested in learning more about life change & mindset coaching from a mind/body perspective? Please email me at sharon@sharonashtonmindfulyoga.com for more information or to schedule a free introductory consultation to see if coaching is right for you. You can also visit my website coaching page.
"I felt at complete ease with Sharon from our first conversation. She has a wonderful, gentle but firm way that made me focus on my thoughts / feelings so I could remove / change to move forward with a completely different feeling to what felt like obstacles. It was great having regular coaching that gently kept me accountable to actioning and moving towards my goals. Sharon has vast experience in so many areas, I felt that makes her an amazing coach.”
— Michelle Carney, East Galway, Ireland
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