What I Learned from Coaching with Horses
“There is a voice that doesn’t use words.
Listen.”
Rumi
When I was a girl, I lived the dream of many young girls; I had my very own horse. He was a dark palomino Quarter Horse and his name was Curly.
I didn’t fully realize it at the time, but he was one of the wisest teachers I’ve ever had. He’s long gone now, but I still think about him and all the lessons I learned from him.
He taught me patience, and he taught me how to be present and calm. When I was uptight and anxious, so was he. When I was happy and calm, he mirrored my emotions.
What I didn’t understand back then was that horses use emotions as information and they’re really good at helping you understand how you’re feeling and how to move through those emotions.
Spending time with a horse will change the way you see the world. In my opinion (and many others), nothing compares to the feeling you get from being in communication with a horse.
I read a quote recently that said something like, “The best therapists have fur and four legs”. Yes! This, of course, refers to all of our four-legged friends (horses, dogs, cats, etc.).
The most amazing thing about them is they impart all this wisdom without words. All you have to do is listen.
That’s why coaching and horses (and other animals) go so well together. In coaching, that’s what we mainly do - listen.
Last weekend I had the opportunity to experience coaching with horses first hand and it’s an experience I won’t ever forget. I was with my master coach friends, the most magical human beings I know, and we spent an entire day with our incredible mentors and some of the most beautiful horses I’ve ever seen.
It was a truly magical, one of a kind, experience.
Here are 5 coaching skills I learned from the horses:
How to be present, really present. Horses use all their senses and know everything that’s going on around them. If they sense danger, they’ll run, but as soon as it’s over they’ll go right back to grazing. They leave the past in the past and don’t worry about the future. They live in the here and now.
The power of listening, patience, attention and stillness. When I spent time in the paddock with my horse, I learned to be still and really pay attention. I noticed that my sense of hearing was keener and I needed to be very patient as I waited for her to respond.
How to notice and name feelings and emotions. As I experienced coaching with my mentor and the horse, I noticed how my emotions affected my horse. Her empathy and attention allowed me to really notice and experience all the feelings that came up for me.
The subtleties of communication. I learned that how we communicate with each other is very, very important. When language isn’t involved, we need to rely on nonverbal communication which is very subtle and powerful. Nonverbal communication also requires us to slow down and really pay attention (see #2 above).
The importance of connection. Horses are herd animals and want to be around other horses, not unlike humans who also crave connection with other humans. They need each other and we need each other. When you get quiet, still, and present in the moment, deeper connections are possible with others.
For any good life coach, all these skills are essential. We work with feelings and emotions and practice staying present. Coaching requires the ability to deeply listen, ask powerful questions, practice the art of good communication, and build a connection with a client.
Spending time with the horses and an incredible group of coaches confirmed something I already firmly believed - life coaching is magical. It’s a life-changing process that we all have the opportunity to experience. Are you ready?
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