How to Show Up for Yourself
(even when you don’t feel like it)
“Eighty percent of success is showing up”
Woody Allen
Do you ever lack motivation to show up for yourself and your dreams? I bet you said “yes” and you’re not alone. Most of us do.
As we get older, it becomes even more challenging to stay motivated. We make excuses more and more, often citing lack of time, money or energy as the reasons.
We think it’s an outside circumstance, something beyond our control, that’s stopping us. Often, though, we’re just scared and making up excuses. It’s fear and uncertainty that’s holding us back.
Our brains don’t like it when we feel fear and will convince ourselves that it’s too late, too hard or too ____________(fill in your favourite excuse) and then we end up staying exactly where we are.
So how do you show up for yourself when things feel scary and hard and you have so much doubt that you can do it? It seems even harder at middle age and beyond when we find ourselves worrying about so many things.
In addition to lamenting about time running out, we experience fears about our health and finances. We complain about lack of sleep and aching bodies. As we get older there’s more loss and grief and the loneliness of empty nest syndrome.
All of this feeds into our fears and keeps us stuck. We convince ourselves that our dreams require too much effort. We don’t even show up to try.
What if you practiced accepting that all of these challenges may arise, AND you can move forward anyway? What if you decided your dream was more important?
What if you chose to show up for yourself? Here are a few things to try to get started:
How to show up for yourself in 5 easy steps
Know your “why”. This is perhaps the most important motivator. Why is your dream important to you? Really dig deep to get to the real reason you want it. Keep asking yourself “why” until you get to the reason that you feel deep in your soul. Maybe you want to lose weight and you’ve told yourself the reason why is to improve your health. That’s a great reason why, except that it’s often (unfortunately) not enough. Keep exploring - why do you want to be healthy? Maybe you want to travel or be able to play with your grandchildren. Be specific. Getting to the very root of your why will help you to stay on track.
Practice daily self-care. Feeling better about yourself will always help you to stay motivated. Focus on getting enough sleep, eating well, and taking time for the things that matter to you. What are your daily habits? Are they aligned with who you want to be and how you want to feel?
Stay in the moment with mindful practices (i.e., movement, meditation, and mindful writing). Mindful practices will change your mindset and change your life. They’re part of daily self-care. Move your body, take time to be still, and get out your journal and engage in self-reflection. When you’re caring for and constantly checking in with yourself it will help a great deal with staying focused and motivated. (Download Mindset Magic 101 -The Daily 3M’s filled with practices you can start today right here: www.sharonashtoncoaching.com/mindset-magic-101).
Learn something new. Take a course, learn a new skill, or start a hobby. When your mind is stimulated you’ll feel happier and more engaged in your world. Learning does wonders for increasing your desire to keep growing. Did you know you can keep learning for your entire life?
Stay connected with others and surround yourself with positive people who support you. Nothing is more unmotivating than being around people who tend to be negative and seem intent on making sure that nothing changes. Find like-minded people who understand what you’re trying to do and support your journey and notice the difference in energy you feel.
Once you’ve started to get going and feel your motivation falling into place, a way to keep the momentum going is to take tiny, manageable steps toward your goals. My mentor, Martha Beck, calls these “turtle steps”. What teeny, tiny turtle steps can you take to keep yourself motivated and on track towards meeting your goals? Make these steps ridiculously easy and no-brainers and in no time you’ll be well on your way.
Always remember that you get to choose how you want to approach each and every day. How do you want to feel? What thoughts would support creating that feeling?
Remember, you can take tiny turtle steps. How will you show up for yourself just in this moment, one step at a time? When we start really noticing that life is lived in the moment we’re in, it becomes a little easier.
“Life only unfolds in moments.
The Healing power of mindfulness lies in living each of those moments as fully as we can, accepting it as we open to what comes in the next moment of now.”
Jon Kabat-Zinn
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I’d love to hear from you so please send any comments or questions to me at sharon@sharonashtoncoaching.com. Feel free to share this email with anyone else who may be interested.
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What is stopping you from living your best life? Get out your journal and a pen and take the new quiz on my website to find out:
Are you interested in learning more about life change & mindset coaching from a mind/body perspective? Please email me at sharon@sharonashtonmindfulyoga.com for more information or to schedule a free introductory consultation to see if coaching is right for you. You can also visit my website coaching page.
"I felt at complete ease with Sharon from our first conversation. She has a wonderful, gentle but firm way that made me focus on my thoughts / feelings so I could remove / change to move forward with a completely different feeling to what felt like obstacles. It was great having regular coaching that gently kept me accountable to actioning and moving towards my goals. Sharon has vast experience in so many areas, I felt that makes her an amazing coach.”
— Michelle Carney, East Galway, Ireland
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