Making Difficult Decisions the Mindful Way
Using mindful practices to help make the right choices
“You are only one decision away from a totally different life”.
Anonymous
I don’t know about you, but I’ve often had a difficult time making decisions. What I’ve learned is that most of our inability to be decisive is due to fear. We are really afraid of making the wrong choice. In our constant need for approval and worry about what others think, we often put off making decisions or, even worse, let someone else decide for us.
This is another place where mindful practices will make your life a whole lot easier. Mindful practices are all about connecting and observing yourself and your thoughts, without judgment, in the present moment. It’s a space where we accept what is. Through connecting with the breath and then noticing our thoughts on purpose we are able to make decisions from a place of rational calm instead of relying on past experiences and mistakes to guide us. Chances are that many of your past decisions that you consider mistakes were made based on old familiar habits and even older past decisions. When we let all those go and make new decisions from the present, everything changes.
When considering your thoughts through non-judgmental curiosity and awareness, it is far less likely that you’ll be as susceptible to non-productive worry and the “what ifs”. Everything becomes more clear.
There are many different kinds of mindful practices. My favorites include mindful yoga, meditation, and reflective writing/journaling. All of these practices will make it easier for you to make good decisions.
For now, let’s talk about mindful meditation. Mindful Meditation can be a wonderful and relatively easy tool to use to help with making decisions. We make dozens of decisions every day, and most are mundane and simple, but sometimes we have a more difficult decision that we really need to think about. If you want to make a decision that’s truly right for you, then give meditation a try.
Why do mindful practices work so well with decision-making? Because being mindful requires that you set aside thoughts about the past and worries about the future and stay right where you are, in the present moment. The present moment is where you need to be in order to give your full attention to the decision-making process.
Here’s a meditation for you to try next time you have a difficult decision to make.
A Meditation for Making Difficult Decisions
Find a quiet place to sit where you won’t be disturbed. Set aside your to-do list and, as much as possible, eliminate distractions (i.e., turn off your phone).
Once you’ve made all necessary adjustments to feel comfortable in a chair or on the floor, close your eyes or soften your gaze and begin to bring your attention to your breath.
Notice your breath going in and out through your nose and feel it begin to deepen.
Whenever thoughts come into your mind, notice them, acknowledge them, and then gently let them go and come back to noticing your breath.
Bring the decision you need to make to your mind. Breathe deeply and notice how your body feels as you think about this decision. Notice the sensations in your body as you weigh all the options in front of you one at a time. With each option, note how your body reacts. Feel into the sensations. Where do you feel them the most? Breathe into the sensations.
What emotions are coming up for you as you think about possible options?
Now consider that the decision has already been made. How does your body feel? What sensations are there as you imagine that you’ve already made the decision? Envision your future self. How does she feel about the decision?
When you feel satisfied that you’ve explored all the options and sensations, let all your thoughts float away and return to noticing your breath. Breathe deeply and evenly. After a few moments, let your breath return to its normal rhythm.
Gently open your eyes, get out your journal, and write down the thoughts that are coming to you. Don’t worry about how you’re writing, just get them down and you can come back to them later.
Making difficult decisions is part of life and something we have to do often. By incorporating mindful practices into your daily life, you will find it easier to gain clarity on your thoughts and change your perspective, which will make it easier to make good decisions.
“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.”
Tony Robbins
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