Are limiting beliefs holding you back from living your best life?
Challenge your thoughts to shift your mindset.
“If you accept a limiting belief, then it will become a truth for you.”
Louise Hay
Here’s something we all seem to have in common: limiting beliefs. These limiting beliefs know no bounds – we have them regarding ourselves, others and the world, and they appear to be a universal experience.
What are limiting beliefs?
A limiting belief is a thought you believe to be true and that limits you in some way. These limiting beliefs can be about yourself, other people in your life, or the world as a whole. Limiting beliefs can have a number of negative effects and can hold you back from leading a life that is more joyous, happy and productive. Since we humans tend to lean toward a negativity bias (thoughts that tend to be more negative than positive when it comes to our experiences in the world) limiting beliefs are very difficult to dislodge.
Here are some examples of fears that lead to limiting beliefs:
Fear of failure (or success)
Fear of not being good enough
Fear of not be loved, or being unlovable
Fear of not having enough money
Fear of rejection
Possible things you may be saying to yourself:
I’m not good enough to ………..(imposter syndrome – a whole other topic!)
I don’t deserve it.
I’m unloveable.
I don’t have enough money (leading to “I’ll never be able to retire” or “I can’t leave my job”)
I can’t because won’t let me (claiming others are holding you back).
How do we let go of these limiting beliefs that hold us back?
Here are some suggestions:
Write them down. The first step in solving any problem in your life is to become clear about what that problem actually is. The most effective way to do this, in my experience, is to write it down. What are your negative beliefs? Be honest with yourself. Say it out loud, write down, sing song about it….whatever works.
What is the origin of these beliefs? Usually our beliefs can be traced back to our earlier years. Perhaps you learned a fear about scarcity and money from lack in your childhood. Perhaps you didn’t make a sports team or were excluded from a social group leading to fear of rejection. Can you find the original source of the belief?
Look for evidence? Pretend you’re in a court room and have to defend yourself for holding this belief. What will the prosecution bring forward to show that it’s not true? Ask yourself these questions (adapted from The Work by Byron Katie):
Is it true?
Can I know it’s absolutely true?
What happens when I believe this thought?
Once you’ve asked those questions and spent some time writing and meditating on them, Byron Katie suggests turning the statements around. For example “I am not creative” becomes “I am creative”. Can you find evidence to support the new thought?
Throughout your day, whenever you find yourself falling into the pattern of negative thoughts, the following might be helpful:
Stop and reflect: Ask yourself if there’s a limiting belief behind that thought. Pause and engage in some mindful reflection. Notice and become aware that your thought is not helpful. Take some time to sit, breathe and meditate.
Challenge the thought: Is it true? (see above). Most of our thoughts are in fact not true.
Take responsibility: So often we blame outside circumstances for our thoughts when in fact we are in complete control of how we think. A thought is just a thought, it is not a fact.
Talk to someone: It’s often helpful to talk through your difficulties with someone, especially if you want help with changing your internal dialogue and stories. Get help to find a way to change your stories to start living the life you want and deserve.
Reference: Loving What Is – four questions that can change your life by Byron Katie
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