Finding Your Inner Coach
A visualization practice to help tame the inner critic
“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”
Louise Hay
Almost every time I sit down to write this blog, post something on my Facebook page, write a report for work, do something creative, or start any project that’s important to me, I hear the voice of my inner critic telling me some version of “I’m not good enough”. Does that sound familiar? I suspect you too probably have an inner critic and, if you’re like me, you hear from her every single day. She calls you names like stupid, wrong, inadequate, untalented, useless, etc. This voice tells us we don't know enough and keeps us from reaching our full potential.
If this sounds like a voice that frequently talks to you, you are not alone. In fact, I don't know anyone who doesn't experience this voice regularly. Even people who seem very confident and appear to be immune from self-criticism experience hurtful words from the inner critic from time to time.
The good news is there are some strategies we can use to calm the inner critic. One strategy is to make friends with her. By that I mean recognize that your inner critic is there to help you not to hurt you. Although often unhelpful, your inner critic has good intentions and is trying to protect you from harm. It helps to try and visualize this part of you that wants to keep you safe. You might even offer her some compassion. When she starts to get in the way, thank her for her assistance, and ask her to take a break for a little while. While she's resting, you can access your inner coach.
Here’s a visualization exercise I’ve adapted from the many tools I’ve learned over the years that may help you access your inner coach.
Find your inner coach visualization
Find somewhere quiet where you can spend some time without distraction. You may be seated or lying down, whatever is most comfortable for you. Begin by closing your eyes or softening your gaze and noticing your breath.
Once you've been able to settle and relax into your chosen position and your breath feels slow and steady, you are invited to begin thinking about all things you love about yourself, including your values and your dreams. What brings you joy?
Now picture yourself sometime in the future, perhaps 3 to 5 years from now. Picture your ideal self and the life you would like to live. You are surrounded by the things that give you joy and your life is exactly the way you like it to be.
Picture all the details of yourself in this new life. What do you look like? How do you feel? Here are some other questions you ask yourself:
What are you wearing?
Where do you live?
How is your physical health? What about your emotional health?
How do you spend your day?
What body sensations are you noticing?
What other questions can you ask your future self?
You may need to do this visualization a few times in order to really get a clear picture of your inner coach. This inner coach is going to help you attain the life you looking for. You may want to do a vision board with pictures to help solidify this vision, and you also may want to write the details down in your journal.
Take time to get to know your inner coach. What habits does she have? What could you start incorporating in your life now instead of waiting? When you have a challenge and your inner critic shows up, why not ask your inner coach for advice? Remember, your inner critic is there to protect to you but it doesn't need to run your life.
It's time to flip the script. You ARE good enough!
I’d love to hear from you so please send any comments or questions to me at sharon@sharonashtonmindfulyoga.com. Feel free to share this email with anyone else who may be interested.
Are you interested in life and mindset coaching? As part of my Wayfinder Life Coaching certification practicum, for a limited time I am currently accepting clients for complimentary sessions. If you would like more information on this limited-time opportunity, please email me to set up an appointment or visit my website coaching page.
You are also invited to join my free Facebook group The Journey Within Mindful Yoga and Life Change Community here where we can connect to share resources and short mindful yoga and meditation practices:
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