Is Fear of Failure Getting in the Way of Your Success?
Try this visualization and mindful writing practice to explore your feelings
“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve; the fear of failure.”
Paul Coelho
Nobody I know likes to fail, yet most of us will experience failure on the path to achieving our dreams.
Failures are learning opportunities and if your dream is big, there will be many learning opportunities and you’re going to fail a few times on the way to achieving it. You may fail a lot. In fact, I’ve heard it said that the most successful people have failed many times.
Really let that sink in: Everyone who has done anything of any importance in the world has failed at least once and usually many times.
So why do we fear failure so much?
Part of the reason is that when we fail we often make “I am” statements, i.e., “I am a failure” instead of saying “that attempt didn’t work”. There’s a big difference. We make it mean something about us instead of creating some distance by attributing the failure to the action.
We fear the judgment of others too. What will “everyone” think if I fail?
That fear of failure stops us in our tracks. It also prevents us from living our most extraordinary and joy-filled lives.
What if you could feel the fear and still be successful in living your dreams?
The next time you notice you’re allowing the fear of failure to get in the way of success in your life, here are two mindful practices you can try using your own body’s compass as a guide.
Visualization - What do fear and success feel like?
Sit or lie down in a comfortable position and spend some time connecting with your breath. Notice your breath as it moves in and out through your nose. What’s the temperature? Is it warm or cool? Is your breathing shallow (mostly in your chest) or deep (way down in the belly). Just notice.
Notice how your body feels in this state of rest. You may even want to do a body scan. Be curious.
Bring to mind the situation that is creating feelings of fear. See the situation vividly and notice your thoughts about it. What feelings are those thoughts creating in your body? Where do you primarily feel a change from your rested state? Really notice. You may want to do another brief body scan.
Now, refocus your attention back to the breath and bring to mind the same situation, only this time it is resolved in the way you desire. Picture yourself as successful and notice all your bodily sensations. Where does that feeling come from? What do you need to be thinking to feel that way?
Once you’ve explored these new feelings, gently bring yourself out of the visualization, get out your journal, and write about your experience. You can also try the next mindful writing exercise.
Mindful Writing Exercise - Word Association
Open a blank page in your journal or simply get a piece of blank paper and a pen or pencil.
Draw a line down the center of the page.
Write “Failure” on one side and “Success” on the other
Now look at the word “failure” and below it write the first word that comes to your mind as you think about it. Then write a second, third, fourth, etc. without censoring yourself and without spending much time. Keep writing until you can’t think of any more words and your mind is still. What do you notice? How does it feel to read those words?
Now look at the word “success” and follow the same steps above. When you’ve finished writing, again ask yourself: What do I notice? How do I feel? Is there any difference in how I feel now?
Here’s some journal prompts to continue your exploration of fear of failure:
If I wasn’t afraid of failing, I would ____________________.
If your fear was an animal, what would it be? Describe the animal in detail; it’s colour, shape, where it lives, etc.
What’s the worst thing that could happen? What’s the best?
What does success look like for me?
How can I feel the fear and move forward anyway?
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I’d love to hear from you so please send any comments or questions to me at sharon@sharonashtonmindfulyoga.com. Feel free to share this email with anyone else who may be interested.
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What is stopping you from living your best life? Get out your journal and a pen and take the new quiz on my website to find out:
Are you interested in learning more about life change & mindset coaching from a mind/body perspective? Please email me at sharon@sharonashtonmindfulyoga.com for more information or to schedule a free introductory consultation to see if coaching is right for you. You can also visit my website coaching page.
"I felt at complete ease with Sharon from our first conversation. She has a wonderful, gentle but firm way that made me focus on my thoughts / feelings so I could remove / change to move forward with a completely different feeling to what felt like obstacles. It was great having regular coaching that gently kept me accountable to actioning and moving towards my goals. Sharon has vast experience in so many areas, I felt that makes her an amazing coach.”
— Michelle Carney, East Galway, Ireland
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