What are your Happiness Obstacles?
5 Ways we sabotage our own joy and what we can do about it!
When you’re asked if you’re happy, what is your response?
What does it mean to be happy?
Here’s a definition of happiness I found in an online dictionary:
“Happiness is an emotional state characterized by feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment and fulfillment. While happiness has many different definitions, it is often described as involving positive emotions and life satisfaction.”
Based on that definition, I believe that happiness is possible for all of us.
Here’s why.
Happiness is defined as an emotional state and that’s good news because our emotions come from our thoughts, and our thoughts are completely within our control. That means external circumstances aren’t responsible for our happiness. It is created from the emotions we experience.
Why is it so difficult for us to think in ways that bring us more happiness?
Since our thoughts create our feelings and how we’re feeling drives our actions, we often end up sabotaging ourselves which doesn’t help us feel happy.
“Happiness depends upon ourselves.”
Aristotle
Here are 5 ways that we sabotage ourselves and miss opportunities to experience all those happiness states: joy, fulfillment, contentment and satisfaction.
Believing that external circumstances are the cause of our feelings. This is something that is very common. How often have you said to yourself, “I’ll be happy when I get a new car” (or a new job or go on a trip, etc.). The car, job and trip won’t be the cause of your happiness or unhappiness, your thoughts about those things are the key.
Approval of others. If you feel insufficient and believe you always need others to say “good job!”, you won’t be truly happy until you start believing in yourself. Validation from others never lasts.
Your work situation. If you’re in the “I hate Mondays” or “TGIF” (Thank goodness it’s Friday) crowd and always waiting for the weekend to arrive, your happiness quotient will go way down. This also applies to the “When I retire….” crowd.
Doing too much. We’re in a society that values doing more and multi-tasking. There’s a pervasive belief that the busier you are, the better. However, this moves you away from mindfulness, and we need to move towards mindfulness to be happier. Get rid of the never-ending “to do” list and create a “to be” list
Overthinking. Happier people make decisions and stick with them. They don’t keep second guessing and doubting themselves. Spending too much time in indecision and overthinking doesn’t lead to a positive mindset.
In looking at the above obstacles, it appears that the solution lies in our daily mindful practices. Becoming more mindful involves developing awareness of our thoughts and how they relate to our emotions, feelings and behaviours. Whenever you find yourself blaming something or someone outside yourself for your feelings, it’s time to ask yourself what you’re thinking. Are you looking outside yourself to feel happy? Are you seeking validation from others? Are you blaming your work situation, doing too much, or overthinking?
What’s really going on?
I invite you to get out your journal and consider the following questions:
What does “happiness'' mean to you?
What can you do today to start removing your “happiness obstacles''?
In what ways do you sabotage your happiness?
As you continue to develop your mindful practices and spend more time in present moment awareness, it becomes easier to create thoughts that produce more positive emotions that will lead to - you guessed it - happiness.
“If you want to be happy, be.”
Leo Tolstoy
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I’d love to hear from you so please send any comments or questions to me at sharon@sharonashtonmindfulyoga.com. Feel free to share this email with anyone else who may be interested.
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What is stopping you from living your best life? Get out your journal and a pen and take the new quiz on my website to find out:
Are you interested in learning more about life change & mindset coaching from a mind/body perspective? Please email me at sharon@sharonashtonmindfulyoga.com for more information or to schedule a free introductory consultation to see if coaching is right for you. You can also visit my website coaching page.
"I felt at complete ease with Sharon from our first conversation. She has a wonderful, gentle but firm way that made me focus on my thoughts / feelings so I could remove / change to move forward with a completely different feeling to what felt like obstacles. It was great having regular coaching that gently kept me accountable to actioning and moving towards my goals. Sharon has vast experience in so many areas, I felt that makes her an amazing coach.”
— Michelle Carney, East Galway, Ireland
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