The Unknown Impact of Kindness
Writing a Letter of Gratitude
One day, many years ago (it seems like another lifetime ago!), I was standing in line waiting to get into my favourite gym. It was a Sunday morning and I was lined up outside the gym before it opened with at least a dozen other women waiting for our morning spin class. This spin class was our version of a Sunday church service. It felt as vital as breathing. As I was standing in line, I was listening to the conversation a group of women were having ahead of me. One of the women, a beautiful, vibrant, and very energetic woman who was at least 20 tears older than the rest of us, was being asked her tips for a healthy life. I know she talked about diet, exercise, yoga and meditation, but for some reason, the one thing I recall her saying (and can still hear her saying in my mind) was, “I eat oatmeal for breakfast every single morning”.
I didn't initially do anything with that information. I guess it ended up in the files of my mind for use at a later time, like so much seemingly irrelevant information does. A few years later, when I had the realization that I wanted to become healthier and I started making changes to my lifestyle, I retrieved that bit of information from the file in my mind and I began eating oatmeal for breakfast instead of my customary bagel and cream cheese. What a difference it made! I not only lost weight but I felt more energized.
That was about 20 years ago and I still eat oatmeal every single morning for breakfast. I even make an effort to maintain that habit when on vacation. That one conversation standing outside of the gym one Sunday morning had a huge impact on me. I can't remember the woman's name and I don't know where she is now but I'd love to thank her for making such a positive and life-changing impact on me.
The point of this story is to share how little we know about the impact we have on others as we travel through life. One little thing that you say, one little action, or one little gesture could have an enormous impact on another person's life and you may never know about it. We spend a lot of time agonizing over our purpose in life, but what if our purpose is a compilation of these little things? Perhaps, for most of us, our purpose is to live our days the best we can and maybe, even when we're not aware of it, make a huge impact on someone else's life just by interacting with them for a short time.
The next time you start feeling frustrated, sad, disappointed, or anxious that you're not living the life you were supposed to live, I invite you to take a moment, close your eyes, take a few breaths, and think about all the people who have impacted you throughout your life. Spend a few moments and give thanks. And, as you are sitting in meditation being grateful, offer yourself some thanks for all that you have done for others. I'm absolutely certain that you've done more than you think you have.
Writing exercise: Expressing gratitude - the thank you letter
Here's a little journal writing activity to try. Take a piece of paper or your journal and your favorite pen and write a thank you letter to someone who has made a difference in your life. They can be living or not. You can start your letter with “Dear ……”. Thank this person for the impact they made in your life. To make this exercise even more powerful, you can send the letter, or you could call the person and read it to them. If they are no longer alive, then you can either sit and read it as a meditative prayer or simply leave it in your journal to re-read whenever you need inspiration.
Notice how you feel when you’ve finished this exercise. My hunch is that you’ll feel inspired to be a little less hard on yourself.
I’d love to hear from you so please send any comments or questions to me at sharon@sharonashtonmindfulyoga.com. Feel free to share this email with anyone else who may be interested.
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