The Imposter Syndrome Trap
Is it holding you back from living your best life?
“Everyone who is doing important work is working on something that might not work. And it's extremely likely that they're also not the very best qualified person on the planet to be doing that work…Time spent fretting about our status as impostors is time away from dancing with our fear, from leading and from doing work that matters.” — Seth Godin
Do you feel like a fraud? Most of us do at one time or another. Almost everyone I know and everyone I’ve coached has had thoughts related to imposter syndrome.
According to Dr. Kirsten Weir, in an article she wrote for the American Psychological Association (APA), imposter syndrome was a term first identified in 1978 by two psychologists: Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes. At the time, they used the term to describe high-achieving women who were “unable to internalize and accept their success”. They usually attributed their success to “luck rather than ability” and internalized fears that they would eventually be found out as a fraud.
Fast forward to today and almost every woman I meet who wants to try a new creative project, get a new job or start their own business, cites feeling like a fraud, or imposter syndrome, as the main reason they get “stuck” and don’t follow their dreams. It’s very real and it holds us back from living our best lives.
How can we work through that feeling and quiet the voice inside that says a version of “not good enough” (i.e., I’m not good enough; I don’t know enough; I’m not enough….”)?
First, it’s important to recognize that our feelings are always based on our thoughts. For example, if you’re feeling “stuck” and find yourself procrastinating while working on something new, it’s time to ask yourself what you are thinking. If you’re thinking something like, “No one will ever read this book I’m writing” or “Even if I pass this course I won’t know enough”, for example, then it’s time to challenge those thoughts.
There are several useful therapy and coaching tools for mindfully challenging our thoughts including doing The Work by Byron Katie, using thought dissolving tools from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and filling in thought records from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). All of these tools encourage you to notice and question your thoughts. By engaging in these tools you will eventually find evidence and create new, more useful thoughts to help move you forward.
I invite you to start noticing your thoughts. When you have a thought that’s not useful, i.e., “I’m stuck”, this simple thought tool from ACT works really well.
Say to yourself “I’m stuck” a few times.
Then say, “I’m having the thought I’m stuck” at least 3 times.
Follow that by saying, “I notice I’m having the thought I’m stuck” at least 3 times.
You can use these steps on any thought. You may have noticed that saying “I notice I’m having the thought….” helped you create some distance and helped put you in more of an observer role which gives you space to consider creating a new thought. It may also help you to explore that thought further. I encourage you to keep practicing this tool. It’s very powerful.
Here are some additional strategies I’ve found useful for dealing with imposter syndrome:
Write it down. I can’t emphasize enough the power of writing down your thoughts. I also recommend writing with a pen and paper, although your phone or computer would work as well. When we write with pen and paper, the connection between the brain and your hand is powerful and the process is more therapeutic. There have been many times that I’ve had “aha!” moments just by writing it down.
Move your body. This is another very powerful way to diminish the intensity of your thoughts. Engaging in slow mindful yoga or going for a walk in the woods are my two favourite ways of using movement to shift my thoughts.
Meditation and breathwork. Connect with your breath and become still. Allow your thoughts to come and go and just be present with them.
Talk to someone. Talking to a mindset coach, therapist, friend or colleague can help put your thoughts in perspective.
Remember that we’re all in the same boat. We all have more to learn and none of us knows everything. There will always be more to learn and ways to improve, but that doesn’t mean you can’t share to best parts of you right now, just as you are. I invite you to re-read Seth Godin’s words from the start of this article. It’s time to “dance with our fear” and begin doing the work that matters.
I’d love to hear from you so please send any comments or questions to me at sharon@sharonashtonmindfulyoga.com. Feel free to share this email with anyone else who may be interested.
Are you interested in life change & mindset coaching? If you are interested in exploring new ways to bring joy into your world and live your best life, please email me to set up a complimentary 30 minute coaching session/discovery call at sharon@sharonashtonmindulyoga.com or visit my website coaching page.
You can download your free Find Your Inner Coach Guide including a guided visualization and journal prompts here:
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“When Sharon and I started working together, I was surprised by how quickly I started seeing changes and results. Her coaching has helped me gain confidence in my professional life and I now feel like I have what it takes to keep operating my business on a daily basis, while staying true to my values. Through heart-centred conversations and guidance, Sharon always has the right words. I definitely recommend her services.” — Vicky Drolet, Quebec, Canada
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You are also invited to join my free Facebook group The Journey Within Mindful Yoga and Life Change Community here where we can connect to share resources and short mindful yoga and meditation practices: