Feeling stuck with the same old thoughts? Rethink your thinking!
Create new thinking by taking small steps up the thought ladder
“There is a crack, crack in everything.
That’s how the light gets in”
Leonard Cohen
Making changes of any kind is hard. It doesn’t matter what we want to do, our brains are programmed to keep us where we are because the brain wants to stay comfortable and keep things “easy”.
What that means is that we feel the same fears over and over, behave the same way day after day, and think the same thoughts even when there is no, or very little, evidence to support that the thought is true.
Why is it so hard to change our thoughts? We tend to think the same thoughts every day and, over time, whether they’re true or not, our thoughts become beliefs and then they’re really hard to change. Our brain is always looking for “proof” that our thoughts are true so it will filter out any thoughts that seem to contradict the belief (i.e., it’s just “luck” if the negative thought is proven untrue)
There are many ways to reduce negative thoughts and limiting beliefs including thought records from Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), thought dissolving tools from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and questioning your thoughts with The Work by Byron Katie (i.e., ask yourself “Is it true?”). I highly recommend all of them. The thought ladder is yet another tool to put in your negative thought dissolving toolbox.
Creating a thought ladder to help with negative thinking patterns is really effective because it gives you a way to slowly (think turtle steps!) help your brain buy into the transition from a negative thought to a better, more positive thought.
How does the thought ladder work? By inserting some more neutral thoughts in between the negative and positive, it creates space for the brain to start disengaging from the negative thought and assimilating the new information to start accepting the more positive thought.
An important note: This is not a process to be rushed. Take your time at each rung on the ladder and really let your brain start to believe each thought before moving to the next.
Here is an example of using a thought ladder for negative thinking about money.
Example starting thought: I am not confident with managing money.
Next rung:
I notice I keep thinking I am not confident with managing money (the mind begins to open to the process of being curious)
Next rung:
I am not confident in my ability to manage money yet, but I could learn (a more neutral thought, continuing the curiosity)
Next rung:
I am beginning to learn more about how to manage money. (The thought is becoming more positive).
New positive thought: I feel confident in managing my money.
By following this pattern and taking slow, small steps up the ladder, you will have more success in changing negative thoughts. You may also need to actually do some work while resting on each rung (in this instance learning money management skills).
Here’s an illustration with another example with a version of “I’m not good at (fill in the blank)”:
Here’s some really good news: By beginning the process of recognizing that you have these repetitive negative thoughts that likely no longer serve your best interests and keep you stuck, you are giving yourself a huge head start on the thought ladder. Sometimes just getting out a piece of paper, or opening your journal and starting to write, creates a big shift in your thinking. Becoming mindful and noticing your thoughts is a huge step.
This process is not easy, takes time, and you really have to be committed to staying the course on each rung for as long as it takes to make the shift. But do yourself a favour and stick with the process. You won’t regret it! You will learn, grow, change, and ultimately create the life you really yearn for!
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I’d love to hear from you so please send any comments or questions to me at sharon@sharonashtonmindfulyoga.com. Feel free to share this email with anyone else who may be interested.
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Are you interested in life change & mindset coaching? If you are interested in exploring new ways to bring joy into your world and live your best life, please email me to set up a complimentary 30 minute coaching session/discovery call at sharon@sharonashtonmindulyoga.com or visit my website coaching page.
"I felt at complete ease with Sharon from our first conversation. She has a wonderful, gentle but firm way that made me focus on my thoughts / feelings so I could remove / change to move forward with a completely different feeling to what felt like obstacles. It was great having regular coaching that gently kept me accountable to actioning and moving towards my goals. Sharon has vast experience in so many areas, I felt that makes her an amazing coach.”
— Michelle Carney, East Galway, Ireland
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