My Christmas Wish For You
Tips and journal prompts to help you create your ideal holiday this year
I have a confession: December and all the “hoo-ha” leading up to Christmas and the holidays has never been my idea of fun. It’s the time of year when I’d love to hibernate or just go away somewhere until all the chaos and fuss is over.
This year, I’ve been doing a lot of journaling about my thoughts and feelings regarding Christmas and what it means to me, as well as making vision boards and planning for 2023. Journaling always gives me so much clarity.
Socially, I’ve always felt like a bit of a misfit, and Christmas in particular has been a challenge for me for as long as I can remember. I’ve never felt like I could truly be myself because of all the social expectations, and the older I get and the more women I talk to, I realize I’m not alone with these feelings.
No matter what you celebrate this holiday season, I know there are lots of you who feel like I do.
This time of year is filled with perceived expectations. I say perceived because we put the pressure on ourselves. It’s always us that creates our own experiences of the world. We only think we have to do these things, and those thoughts create a lot of feelings of stress.
We actually have a choice - more on that in a bit…..
When I was a young girl, we almost always hosted the family Christmas at our house and I watched my mother prepare for it each year like royalty was coming or it was some sort of Olympic event. In retrospect, I realize she was trying to impress her mother (my grandmother), just like I tried to do with my mom when I was a new wife in my own home.
The house was cleaned from top to bottom, there were marathon cooking and baking events, and decorations were put up “just so”. The dinner table at Christmas could have been photographed for Better Homes & Gardens and we wore our best outfits. It was a Very Big Deal.
And always, every year, there were meltdowns as the stress kicked in and nerves were frayed. Yet, it continued and all happened again the next year.
When I became an adult, I learned that my mom actually didn’t love baking and cooking (although she was very good at both) and she didn’t love cleaning (although I have a newspaper clipping naming her “Homemaker of the Year”), but she played her role well, I mean really, really well. She had me fooled for years.
As a good girl and a good daughter, over the years I tried, with modest success, to meet everyone’s expectations and be more like my mom. As a young mother myself, I felt the pressure to create a magical experience for my kids. I also attended social and work events, dinners and big family gatherings, often dreading every moment. Making it to January 2, when I’d finally be able to breathe, was my goal. That’s when life could return to a relatively quiet “normal”.
Then one year I had a revelation. It was the year my father died. It had been a very stressful year and I simply couldn’t face the confusion and busyness of Christmas. On a whim, I booked a trip for my family of four to go to Disney World. It was the Best Christmas Ever. The only presents I bought were some stocking stuffers. There was no cooking or cleaning or visiting, just Disney magic. I threw expectations out the window and the stress went with it.
Over the last few years, I’ve come to the realization that I actually have a choice in what happens in my world during the holiday season. I can choose who I spend time with, where I go, and what I do. I don’t have to send Christmas cards, do lots of baking, or go to holiday parties if I don’t want to.
I don’t have to live up to other people’s expectations. Neither do you.
This year my husband and I are going away for Christmas. We’re going up north to visit our kids and I’m excited about it. In fact, I can’t wait. We don’t have to think about entertaining or putting up a Christmas tree. We’re spending time with the people who mean most to us and doing the things we really want to do. Without the pressure, I’m enjoying the experience.
That’s my Christmas wish for you - do something that excites you and brings you joy this holiday season.
Your Ideal Holiday Journal Prompts
What do you love about December and the holidays?
What brings you joy at this time of year?
What could you do without?
What can you do for yourself this holiday season?
Spend some time visualizing your ideal Christmas day. Where are you? Who’s there? What are you doing?
Spend some time with your pen and your journal and consider these questions. Re-read your writing when you’re finished. What did you discover? What changes will you make this year?
———
I’d love to hear from you so please send any comments or questions to me at sharon@sharonashtonmindfulyoga.com. Feel free to share this email with anyone else who may be interested.
Please check out The Journey Within podcast at:
What is stopping you from living your best life? Get out your journal and a pen and take the new quiz on my website to find out:
Are you interested in learning more about life change & mindset coaching from a mind/body perspective? Please email me at sharon@sharonashtonmindfulyoga.com for more information or to schedule a free introductory consultation to see if coaching is right for you. You can also visit my website coaching page.
"I felt at complete ease with Sharon from our first conversation. She has a wonderful, gentle but firm way that made me focus on my thoughts / feelings so I could remove / change to move forward with a completely different feeling to what felt like obstacles. It was great having regular coaching that gently kept me accountable to actioning and moving towards my goals. Sharon has vast experience in so many areas, I felt that makes her an amazing coach.”
— Michelle Carney, East Galway, Ireland
You can access your free Find Your Inner Coach Guide including a guided visualization and journal prompts here:
If you’re interested in more inspiration and community around positive mindset, slow mindful yoga, meditation and mindful writing practices, come join our private Facebook group here: