How to Show Up for Yourself Every Day
Creating daily habits that work for you
“Eighty percent of success is showing up.”
Woody Allen
One of the most difficult challenges many of us have is keeping commitments and showing up for ourselves. We don’t have much difficulty showing up for others in our lives, but we are constantly telling ourselves that there’s no time for us.
In my opinion, that’s a really big mistake. Why? Because making time for yourself, and committing to that time, will ultimately help you create more time in your life for others.
What???? I’ll explain what I mean in a moment. But first, it’s important to understand what “showing up” for yourself really means. It means making self-care (i.e., looking after your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health) a priority.
Showing up for yourself will look different for everyone. In general, it means engaging in the daily practices and activities that help you feel joyful and alive, and that create feelings of peace and calm.
The quote above by Woody Allen is one that I share with clients in my coaching practices as well as students and parents in my school psychology job all the time. It’s powerful and it’s true. Think about it; 80 percent of anyone’s success comes from making the commitment just to show up. That means that making the decision to engage in self-care and simply showing up will help you create change.
So how does it work? Well, when you create the time to practice presence to meditate, move your body, write in your journal, connect with a friend, etc., you’re sending an important message to your brain that you are important and you value yourself. The activities themselves are only part of the equation; it’s the new thoughts you’re creating about yourself that will help begin the process of change.
Here are 5 things you can do today to practice presence and start showing up for yourself:
Set firm boundaries and make the time for yourself
Setting firm boundaries means prioritizing your needs by putting your own needs first. By looking after your own needs first, you’ll be happier and healthier and in a much better place to start helping others. You’ll be setting a positive example to everyone in your life and will soon see the ripple effect. It really is a key to success in both your personal relationships and at work. Your relationships with family, friends and coworkers will all benefit.
Practice self-compassion
We all need to be kinder to ourselves. When you practice kindness towards yourself, especially when you’re having difficulties and are making mistakes (as we all do) it will be easier to move forward and carry on. When we give ourselves a hard time, we end up staying stuck and it’s difficult to create change. Remember that miistakes are part of the process and the only thing we need to do is learn from them.
Take time for self-reflection
So many of the conflicts we have with others and so much of the confusion we feel about what to do next in our lives is caused by not taking the time to mindfully self-reflect. Stop throughout the day and notice how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking. You can do this while moving through a yoga practice, going for a walk, gardening, listening to music, meditating, doing some journaling/mindful writing, and the list goes on. Always take time to reflect before you respond to yourself or others. Question thoughts that make you uncomfortable and don’t serve you. Become a master of your mindset!
Move your body
Sometimes we have so much mental and/or physical energy stored in our body that we really just need to move. One of the best ways you can show up for yourself is to exercise. Move your body in whatever way feels good to you; walking, jogging, running, dancing, yoga, pilates, stretching, weights, whatever works for you.
Engage in joyful activities
As you’re doing all of the above (setting boundaries, practicing self-compassion, self-reflecting, and moving your body), take time to contemplate what activities create a feeling of joy in your body. It’s a good idea to first figure out what joy actually feels like in your body. How will you know you’re experiencing joy? How can you do more that creates that feeling every single day? It could be something simple like planting a new flower in your garden, playing with your dog, having coffee with a friend, or seeing your child/grandchild smile. What gives you that pleasant sensation of joy? Do more of that!
As you begin to show up for yourself every single day in each of these ways you’ll be creating habits that will bring more peace, calm and joy to your life.
“Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up.”
Brene Brown
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I’d love to hear from you so please send any comments or questions to me at sharon@sharonashtonmindfulyoga.com. Feel free to share this email with anyone else who may be interested.
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"I felt at complete ease with Sharon from our first conversation. She has a wonderful, gentle but firm way that made me focus on my thoughts / feelings so I could remove / change to move forward with a completely different feeling to what felt like obstacles. It was great having regular coaching that gently kept me accountable to actioning and moving towards my goals. Sharon has vast experience in so many areas, I felt that makes her an amazing coach.”
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