Getting Unstuck
Take back control of your thoughts to move yourself forward
“If you feel stuck in your present life, if you feel no enthusiasm for anything, if you think you have no purpose or that you lost that purpose somewhere along the way, I guarantee you are living in a dungeon made of stories. And that none of those limiting stories are true.”
Martha Beck
How many times have you been excited to start a new project and then suddenly lose momentum and enthusiasm to continue?
At that point, it’s likely that your brain has started to recycle old stories and beliefs, like, “I don’t know how”, “I can’t do this”, “This is too hard”, etc.
You may tell yourself, “I’m stuck”.
I truly believe that it’s not true. You just think it’s true and it definitely feels true because you’ve always made it true in the past.
It’s a thought you’ve never challenged.
It’s always important to remember that you get to choose your thoughts. Your circumstances are neutral until you assign meaning to them with your thoughts. When an obstacle appears on the path in front of you, it’s up to you how you choose to proceed.
You have a choice. You always have a choice.
Circumstances create thoughts. Thoughts create feelings. You react to your feelings with your behavior and actions.
“I’m stuck” is a thought you have about your situation. The thought “I’m stuck” normally doesn’t create a very nice feeling inside you.
If you want to change the feeling, you need to work on the thought.
You can start by asking yourself, “Do I want to keep feeling this way? Or do I want to choose to feel something different?
Then you can make a new choice.
Let’s try a little thought exercise.
Noticing your thoughts
Sit comfortably in a chair with your spine straight, your hands folded in your lap, and your feet firmly planted on the ground. Close your eyes if that’s comfortable for you, or simply lower your gaze.
Make any little adjustments you need to make until your body feels really, really comfortable, like you're melting into the chair.
Now take a few moments to connect with your breath. Notice the temperature of the air as it moves in and out of your nose. See if you can lengthen your inhales and exhales.
Once you’re settled and relaxed, bring a situation into your mind that has you feeling “stuck”. Really immerse yourself in that situation. Become an observer of all the thoughts you have. Notice all the bodily sensations that arise. By taking a few moments to stop and witness your thoughts and feelings you’ll allow yourself the space and awareness to really notice what’s going on and begin the process of taking back control.
Spend as much time as you have in this space.
Now gently let go of your thoughts and return again to the sensation of the breath moving in and out of your nostrils. Begin to slowly move your body and open your eyes.
Now that you’ve really witnessed your thoughts and noticed how they make you feel, it’s time to start creating new thoughts.
Instead of telling yourself, “I’m stuck”, here are two examples of more productive thoughts I encourage you to explore:
“If I weren’t stuck, what would I do next?”
“How do I find out what to do next?”
Another suggestion is to envision yourself as already successfully reaching your goal. Picture all of the details. How do you feel? What are you doing? Is anyone with you? Where are you? Then ask yourself a key question:
“How did this version of myself get here? What did she do?” Get out your journal and pen and start writing all of the ideas.
Here’s some other things you can do whenever you start thinking “I’m stuck”. Take a break if you need to and do something else for a while. Go for a walk, meditate or do some yoga. Talk to some friends (or a coach!). Come back to the situation with fresh eyes.
Make a pact with yourself that “I’m stuck” isn’t part of your vocabulary anymore. Create a new story in your mind. A story where you’re in control.
The key to becoming unstuck is to take back control of your thoughts and feelings. Stop feeding those stories that don’t serve you. The next time you find yourself feeling “stuck” remind yourself that you no longer believe that story.
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I’d love to hear from you so please send any comments or questions to me at sharon@sharonashtonmindfulyoga.com. Feel free to share this email with anyone else who may be interested.
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What is stopping you from living your best life? Get out your journal and a pen and take the new quiz on my website to find out:
Are you interested in learning more about life change & mindset coaching from a mind/body perspective? Please email me at sharon@sharonashtonmindfulyoga.com for more information or to schedule a free introductory consultation to see if coaching is right for you. You can also visit my website coaching page.
"I felt at complete ease with Sharon from our first conversation. She has a wonderful, gentle but firm way that made me focus on my thoughts / feelings so I could remove / change to move forward with a completely different feeling to what felt like obstacles. It was great having regular coaching that gently kept me accountable to actioning and moving towards my goals. Sharon has vast experience in so many areas, I felt that makes her an amazing coach.”
— Michelle Carney, East Galway, Ireland
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