Are you feeling anxious?
Move into calm with mindful practices when life feels out of control
So many people have told me lately that they’re feeling anxious. Everyone feels anxious sometimes and we all feel it at times to varying degrees.
Whenever I feel anxious, I turn to mindful practices (meditation, movement and/or mindful writing) and they rarely let me down.
First, though, what are the symptoms of anxiety? Here are some examples of feelings and experiences you may relate to when you’re feeling anxious. They can be both psychological and physical:
Often feeling worried, fearful or “on edge”
Difficulty sleeping (which makes you tired and more susceptible)
Problems with concentration
Hyper-alertness
Feeling the sensation of wanting to cry
Seeking comfort/reassurance from others
What can you do when you feel anxious? Here are some things you can do to create calm when things feel out of control. As you can guess, mindful practices are key:
Stop and notice: The first step is simply to stop what you’re doing and notice what’s going on around you. What are the circumstances? Where are you? Who’s with you? What’s going on? Really notice.
Allow the anxiety: This is hard because anxiety is really uncomfortable and our first instinct is to get rid of it immediately, but what we resist really does persist. Allow the anxious feelings to be part of your experience. Don’t resist them.
Breathe: Become aware of your breath as it moves in and out of your body. Focus on your breathing and try lengthening your inhales and exhales. Do a breathing exercise if it’s part of your practice.
What are you thinking? Here’s the key - your thoughts. What are you thinking about that’s causing the feeling of anxiety? Thoughts create feelings. We often think it’s the circumstances but it’s never that. It’s our thoughts. What exactly are you thinking that’s causing the distress?
Challenge your thoughts: Is what you’re thinking true? In life coaching sessions we challenge thoughts by asking questions (these are based on the work of Byron Katie from her book Loving What Is: Four questions that can change your life): Is it true? Can you absolutely know it’s true? What happens when you think that thought? Who would you be without the thought? Then we look at turnarounds for the thought.
More mindful strategies for reducing anxiety and creating calm when you most need it include:
Movement: Any movement will help move the anxiety out of your body. Going for a walk or doing a mindful yoga asana practice are two of my favorites. Swimming, dancing or jogging might be your choice.
Breath meditation or relaxation exercise: I recommend having some meditation practices, visualizations or relaxation exercises readily available on your phone for whenever you need one.
Surround yourself with calm: What can you do to make your surroundings more soothing? Can you move to a quieter space? Put on some favorite music, watch a favorite movie, or read a favorite, comforting book. Light a candle or have a bubble bath if possible. The possibilities are endless.
Mindful writing/Journaling: Write out your feelings on the page. Get a pen and a piece of paper if you don’t regularly write in a journal and scribble furiously. Write down all the details. Do this by hand (not on the computer) so that the anxiety moves through your body as it does in physical exercise.
Here’s a mindful exercise to try that works particularly well when you have lots on your mind at the end of the day.**
The File Folder Exercise
Do you ever find yourself lying in bed at night going over all the things that happened in your day? This visualization exercise works really well if your anxiety is keeping you from getting to sleep.
Sit comfortably in a chair or on the floor, or stay lying down if you’re already in your bed. Any position is fine for this exercise.
Close your eyes or lower your gaze, whichever is most comfortable for you, and begin to notice your breath moving in and out of your nose. Take a few long, slow, deep breaths.
When you’re ready, picture yourself in a room with a file cabinet and a table. On the table are several file folders.
Imagine yourself picking up each file folder one at a time and writing on the label one of the things you are thinking about. For example, you might be worrying about an argument with a coworker, a problem with a family member, or the pandemic. Whatever it is, write down the title on each file label.
After writing down each thought on a label, take a few moments to allow yourself to notice the thought and acknowledge it, and then watch yourself put the file folder in the cabinet. Do this with each one and take your time.
Repeat the process if necessary. Once you’re feeling calmer and more relaxed, watch yourself locking the cabinet and leaving the room.
You can plan a time to come back to the problem if that makes you feel better. When we take the time to acknowledge and validate our feelings, it becomes easier to let them go.
How do you feel after doing that exercise? Do you feel less anxious?
**This exercise was adapted from the following article: https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/tools-and-tricks-to-calm-your-anxiety-and-actually-get-some-sleep#tips-tricks
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I’d love to hear from you so please send any comments or questions to me at sharon@sharonashtonmindfulyoga.com. Feel free to share this email with anyone else who may be interested.
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"I felt at complete ease with Sharon from our first conversation. She has a wonderful, gentle but firm way that made me focus on my thoughts / feelings so I could remove / change to move forward with a completely different feeling to what felt like obstacles. It was great having regular coaching that gently kept me accountable to actioning and moving towards my goals. Sharon has vast experience in so many areas, I felt that makes her an amazing coach.”
— Michelle Carney, East Galway, Ireland
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